“ ‘Cause when I look up to the stars,
I know exactly who we are.”Jon Batiste
It’s important to feel connected to others in the scheme of life. I’ve had many “peoples” over the years, including my rag-tag group in high school, band nerds, brothers and sisters-in-arms, university faculty colleagues, fellow river rats and the list goes on.
Your tribe will change over time. Mine certainly has. Your social circles and spheres of influence are formed through a dynamic process, characterized by growth and changing circumstances.
Every now and then it’s good to evaluate your social relationships to make sure they are still a good fit. By doing this, you can weed out any that are toxic or one-sided. Too many of us keep friendships that drain the life out of us. By letting these harmful relationships go, you will have more time and energy to focus on more positive and fulfilling ones.
Everyone needs at least one close confidante or “goombadi” as we called it growing up with Italian heritage. Humans are social beings and we need these close connections for our mental health. The people you allow in your inner circle should be chosen carefully, not random drop-ins.
My inner circle is tiny by choice. I have unconditional love, for these people and they are nearest to my heart. I wake up thinking of them each morning and name them in my daily prayers and meditations.
First and foremost, I am fortunate to have a husband and daughter who are always in my corner, no matter what.
It has been said that sisters are different flowers from the same garden and built-in best friends. This rings true for me, and my sister who is just 16 months younger is my truest confidante.
The people in my inner circle are loyal, humble, honest, non-judging and fun-loving. My list of inner circle confidantes is about as long as the list of people I trust to take care of my dog, but I’ve managed to eke-out a close personal friend or two over the years.
It is important to have a sense of belonging to a community. Not only is it healthier for you, but these social connections are important for a community to thrive.
Your outer circle consists of people you are acquainted with and consider amicable. Neighbors and workplace colleagues usually fall into this relationship category.
Church groups, associations, organizations and clubs all offer vast opportunities for connecting with others through common goals and interests.
As we begin to re-emerge from Covid-19 pandemic lockdowns, it is important to resume strong community connections.
Girl Posse (Not in a ‘Mean Girls’ Way)
If you have been in a long term relationship and have grown complacent about forging new friendships, you are heading for a potential hardship.
A few years ago, I read a book on how to live a happy life. The author wrote about the importance of having a “girl posse.” Her rationale was that women typically outlive men and when our husbands die, we need to make sure we have a solid female support system ready to help us move on with our lives.
My first thought was well, that was sexist!
My second thought was I better die first, because I don’t have a close-knit group of women outside of my family.
My third thought was I need a girl posse! So any takers, I’m game!
I urge you to take some time to consider all your relationships. If they bring you joy, nurture them. If they do not, don’t waste your time on them.
Find your people and live a happier life. Thank you for reading! – Barb, the River Blogger (Btrb)
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